Die, fools!
by YamiHaruka
Summary: The reason why Nel wants to be a temple maiden, why Albel needs to eat more and why you SHOULD NOT mess with Klausians. Right here. All the answers to questions you never even wanted to ask. Will be mostly AlbelFayt. Read? Reviews would also be nice...
1. Foolish

Title: Die, fools! The everyday life of Albel and Fayt.

Authors: YamiHaruka, LeiserTod

Pairing: (if you haven't already noticed) AlbelxFayt (among maaaany others...;)

Disclaimer: Of course. We didn't own anything. If we did, it would've been a yaoi-game otherwise...All belongs to triAce. Dammit. Still, the priest, the wind and Someone - ours!!! ;D

Warnings: humour. Yeah, can be...dangerous.

Translation by: LeiserTod

A/N: If you wondered why this FF is written in such a bad language - never mind. Translation from German into English. We tried, really.

Well, beware.

Don't press too often on your controller

Albel. "Do you hate me?"  
Fayt. "..." (stares at Albel)  
Albel. "Do you HATE me?!"  
Fayt. "..." (gesticulates wildly)  
Albel. "What?!"  
Fayt. "..." (makes an umistakable movement)  
Albel. "Ah. So, you want me to fuck you?"  
Fayt. "..." (cries)  
Albel. "Okay, you didn't want it the friendly way!!!" (drags Fayt off into a cave)  
Fayt. "..." (still cries)  
_  
By: LeiserTod_

* * *

_24.07.2006_

**Characters: Fayt, Albel, Nel, Cliff**

#group enters prison of Airyglyph#  
#Fayt sees Albel chained to the wall#  
Cliff: "Hey Fayt, what's up?"  
Fayt: "Uuh, nothing."  
Nel: "You look ... worried."  
Fayt: "Yeah, yeah ... worried. Maybe that's the right word ..."  
#Cliff watches Fayt sceptically and takes at a certain body part of his ... err ... a closer look#  
Cliff: "Hey Nel, I think ... Fayt wants to be alone some time ... because of some ... chitchat ... with ... Albel ..."  
Nel: "You think -" Cliff takes Nel by the hand and leaves the cell  
Nel: "What's the matter, Cliff? He didn't -"  
Cliff: "Shht. Stop talking and listen carefully!"  
#noise of rattling chains#  
#some ... err ... other noise ... made by persons#  
#and so on ...door is being opened#  
#an very content looking Fayt comes out... with ... err ... ruffled hair#  
Cliff: "And, were your talking successfull?"  
Fayt: "Ooooooouhh yeah ..."  
#and with that Fayt leaves#  
#Nel stares at his retreating form#  
Nel: "What they were talking about!?"  
Cliff: "Ah, he only wanted to know, why he's called "Albel - the WICKED" ..."  
#goes away und leaves a confused Nel behind#  
Nel: "???"  
#opens the door and takes a look inside#  
Nel: "..."  
#closes it again#  
#blushes ... and decides to become a temple maiden#

By_: YamiHaruka_

* * *

_28.07.2006_

**Characters: Someone, Albel**

Someone: "It's your FATE."  
Albel: "My ... fate?"  
Someone: "Didn't I say that?"  
Albel is running Fate  
Albel: "He said, that you're mine!!"  
#Albel totally happy grabs Fate and never lets him go#  
And if Albel didn't use the wrong hand (cough namely that gauntlet of his), then Fayt didn't stand a chance to free himself. They lived "in happiness" forever.

_By: YamiHaruka_

* * *

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Nel**

Fayt (comes with that bitch to the group): "Err, here is a new...err...person..."  
Albel (snorts): "Eugh! Just look! Her skirt is PINK!"  
The bitch (slaps Albel): "Fuck off, Fatefucker!!!"  
Albel (to Fayt): "YOU! You...you talked with her about our sex life?! How could you?!"  
Fayt (doesn't dare to look at Albel): "Me sorry...but I needed some..advices...regarding...uhm, chains..."  
Albel (slaps Fayt): "Fool! I could tell you EVERYTHING! about those fucking chains!!! I hate you." (goes away)  
Fayt (stares at the retreating form): "Oooh, goood! What have I done? And what about my sexual tension now?!" (falls to the knees - arms stretched toward Albel - the sun is slowly sinking): "Aaaaalbeeell!!! Come baaack!"

_By: LeiserTod_

* * *

#Albel looks down to Fayt# 

Albel: "Maggot."  
Fayt: "Bean pole."  
Albel: #nasal# "Ha, therefore I'm lighter and skinnier, fool." #places triumphantly his hands on the hips#  
Fayt: "At least my hips are better to bear children." #nose high in the air#  
Albel: "!?"  
Fayt: "Ha, now you're speechless." #with that Fayt leaves#

By: YamiHaruka

* * *

Too thin?

**Characters: Albel, Wind**

Albel: "Wind, you worm! You've blown me away! What the fuck?!"  
Wind: "Hohohohoho..."  
Albel: "Take me back on earth this instant, or I'll...!!!"  
Wind: "Hohohohoho...youuuu caaaan't dooo anyythiiing too meeee..."  
Albel (helplessly flying)): "Argh! You'll pay for that!"  
Wind: "Heheheheeee...nooo waaaaayyy..."  
Albel: "Hmpf. You're not a challenge for me! Take that!" (pokes sun with katana. sun goes away.) "HA! No sun, no wind!!!"  
Wind: "Noooooo, hhoooow couuuuld youuuuu...!" (dies down.)  
Albel: "Fool." (looks down. dinstance to earth: aproximately 98,9 metres.) "Oh hit...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

_and the moral? eat more._

_By: LeiserTod_

* * *

Albel (cackles evilfully): "You'll die now! I'll kill you, maggot! Fear my power!"  
Maggot (looks up): #burp#  
Albel (after a short schock): "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" 

_By: LeiserTod_

* * *

**Characters: Cliff, Albel**

Cliff (stamps on the ground): "Where is this show-off who's cruisin' for a bruisin'?! I'll fucking make smashing potatous out of him!!!"  
...somewhere under Cliff's left little toe: "Here...(panting)...I'm here...you...maggooot..."  
Cliff (apologetic): Oh, me sorry. No offense. You okay? (helps to stand)  
Albel (smiling): "None taken. Oh and I'm Albel. I'm here to kill you."  
Cliff: "argl..." (chokes, gasps - Albels hair round his neck is fucking tight)

By: LeiserTod

* * *

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Someone**

Albel (is being throttled effectively by Someone, gasps, head is flying from one side to the other): „let...me..gooo...foool..."  
Fayt (comes hopping from somewhere): „Hey! What the fuck! Let him go! Or you'll die!" (draws his sword)  
Albel (comes slowly round, since Someone – scared by the sudden appearance of Fayt – let him go): „Take this thing from my face! Do you want to kill me?!"  
Fayt (looks teary eyed at Albel): „But...but I...only wanted ..." (down)  
Albel (gracious): "Pff. You maggot."  
Fayt (suddenly cheerful, hops away): „YEAAAAHHH! Albel loves me!! YES! He loves me!!!"  
Albel (without saying a word he dials a number of an psychotherapist): „Fool."

By: LeiserTod

* * *

**Characters: Albel, Klaus**

_LeiserTod: „Who's Klaus? Of course, a Klausian! XD"_

Albel (meets a Klausian): „What do you want? Worm."  
Klaus (smiles foolishly): „Hey, KLausi! klaus KLauSu ...klas KlAussua!"  
Albel (lifts his eyebrow derisively): „Yeah, I'm also doing fine...you allright upstairs?" (points to his head)  
Klaus (gasps for air): „KALAAuusssaaaii! Klausklaaussusaaajaa...! wow."  
Albel (confused): „Huh? Can you speak the same fucking language like all the other fucking worms, too? Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm not a worm. I meant all the fucking mankind. Not me."  
Klaus (drags Albel off into a rotten shack): „Klasussssususussusuzsus! KLaaUUUs!"  
Albel (sees another Klaus, collapses nearly): „Not another one! Let me go! Fool! Fucking rapist!"  
(both Klausians have an animated discussion – the first Klaus points to his head – similar to the gesture of Albel at the beginning)  
Albel (a little bit irritated): "What the fuck are you doing out there? Let me out!"  
(Klaus' don't pay any attention to him, the first one signs some paper)  
Klaus (turns to Albel): „Considering the current circumstances and your use of certain words and gestures, it appears that you have accepted my proposal of marriage. Now you are my husband."  
Albel (screeches in a very unmanly way): "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYT!!!"

By: LeiserTod

tbc?

Uhm, yeah. There are possibly more to come...better ones. But it would be nice to know your opinion about that.


	2. Dumb

Title: Die, fools!

Authors: YamiHaruka & LeiserTod

Pairing: Albel/Fayt, Cliff/Crubb

Disclaimer: No use in going to court. We're broke. Nothing belongs to us (except wind, someone and the priest ;D). It's all the fault of triAce. Oh, and Crubb belongs to...err...what was is called? Ah! Valkyrie Studios! Yay, memory! ;D

Warnings: implied Shonen-Ai, humour (yeah, danger's not over yet...)

A/N: The second chapter that you didn't wait for! Yeeha. Oh, well. The language might have worsened (if that's even possible...).

Okay, those who were brave enough to read the first part – enjoy.

How to get rid of the Peppita-Ending?

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Peppita**

#BANG#  
Fayt: "It wasn't me."  
Albel: "What's going on? I thought I've blown up the outer space." #takes a look around#  
Pepitta: "Huuui -" #flies past the two of them#  
Albel: "That maggot is still alive???? What the hell is going on?"  
Fayt: "Well, the outer space has been destroyed, but the universe still exists." #watches Albel sympathetically#  
Albel: "Where is the difference, worm?"  
Fayt: #shrugs# "Why? Never miss an opportunity to prove your linguistic abilities."  
Albel: #sarcastic# "Oh, really ..."  
Fayt: "Sorry, have to go. Ending with Peppita awaits me."  
Albel: "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - ..." #bursts into tears#

_By: YamiHaruka_

Marriages and other problems

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Sophia, Priester**

Priester (clothed in blue, looks at Albel and Fayt): "...therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace..."  
Sophia (bursts into the chapel): "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I! I am the legitimate bride! Faaaayyyt! I love you!! And you love me! NOW!"  
Fayt (blinks): "Err, Sophia. You're attending a wedding ceremony. There one is usually silent."  
Albel (sighs): "Darling, may I FINALLY kill her?"  
Fayt (indignant): „Honey! Not now! As far as I'm concerned you can poison her at the banquet..."  
Sophia (is not willing to accept her fayt-less destiny, tugs at Fayts sleeve): "Fayt! WE are together! Without this...(dangerous glare on the part of Albel)...this person (subdued)...you love ME!"  
Fayt (confused): "But Sophia...I've already told you...you and me – we're just friends. Friends do not love each other. They like each other at most..."  
Sophia (happy): "DARLING! YOU REALLY made a PROPOSAL to ME!! YAYERS!"  
Albel (draws sighing his katana, presses it to the throat of the priest): "Good. I demand a change concerning the wording of the objection at once."  
Priester (sweating): "Okay. Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak and let him hereafter die at peace..."

Albel (triumphal glare): "Sophia-Darling, do you have anything against mine marrying Fayt?" (plays innocently with this sword)

_Von: LeiserTod_

_...sorry for violating the wedding vows...  
_

Peter I – a better ruler for Airyglyph?

**Characters: Albel, Peter I**

Albel (dutifully does his work as a secretary, minister, torturer and cook at the same time): "...that fucking tyrant...that old coot is so full of shit, hopefully he'll die soon..." (grrrr.)  
Peter (towering above Albel since 2 metres tall): "Do you have something to say to me, min cherz?"  
Albel (scared to death, drops his utensils): "Yo...Your Majesty...what – what a nice surprise to see you here..." (shakes)  
Peter (takes a closer look at the results of Albels work): "Hm...that is really a job formidable done, my dear..." (suddenly pulling out a club, beating the living lights out of Albel, laughs)  
Albel (confused beyond belief): "But...I don't unterstand...why..." (the remains of the sentence being turned into a painful moan)  
Peter (looks down to him, smiles while patting Albels head): "I love you, my heart...take this hiding as proof of my affection for you..."  
Albel (nearly dead): „..."

_By: LeiserTod_

How to seduce freaks mad about technology 

**Characters: Cliff, Grubb**

Cliff (lies down next to Grubb in a bed): "Oooh, darling...you're looking so gorgeous...shall we..."  
Grubb (watches him strangely): "What in hell am I doing here – all nacked and chained to your bed?"  
Cliff (feigns surprise): "Don't you remember anymore, my heart? You were really drunk, then you took Ecstasy and afterwards you asked me to...entertain you..."  
Grubb (seems to be a bit irritated): "OF COURSE I can't remember a thing! Let me go, will you?!"  
Cliff (doesn't give up): "Don't you like me?" (has tears in his eyes)  
Grubb (bored, takes a look at the room. Suddenly he jumps forvard as if being stung in the rear by a wesp): "NO!!"  
Cliff (a bit annoyed since not paid much attention to, but still wants to be nice): "Eh? What's wrong?"  
Grubb (excited beyond belief): "WOW! You have a Summerra SD23 FLot USP!!! And even broken at that!!!" (turns to Cliff with puppy-dog eyes) "May I repair it? PLEASE! I'd do ANYTHING!!!"  
Cliff (now really annoyed that a broken lamp gets more attention than he himself, still can't go without some fun): "Okay...but only on one condition..." (giggles in a dirty way)

_By: LeiserTod_

The best method to get rid of unwanted husbands...

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Cliff, Klaus**

Albel (presents proudly his Klaus): "KNEEL DOWN! I have a Klaus!" (shakes the Klaus to emphasize his point) "I am the future ruler of Nanduland!!"  
Fayt (shakes his head): "But there is no Nanduland..."  
Albel (a bit irritated): "SHUT UP! From now on there is one! I have a Klaus!!!" (more shaking)  
Cliff (very excited): "JAAAHHH! Santa!! Santa has graced us with his presence! Now he surely wants to give me all the Christmas presents for the past 2354 years – in which this asshole has ignored me!!" (stares at the trembling Klaus)  
Klaus (shaking – nothing new): "...mommy..."  
Albel (annoyed): "You are to kneel down! And there is no Santa-Kaus!"  
Cliff (with a broken heart, cannot believe it): "...There is no Santa? But then, what's that?" (points to the howling Klaus)  
Albel (distant) "...my husband."  
Fayt (awake at once – he has been taking a little nap during the conversation): "WHAT?! HUSBAND? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" (draws his sword) "Okay. That Soup-Klaus there WAS your husband! We all have to die sooner or later, anyway..."  
Klaus (doesn't take this little speech of truth as a real threat): "The name's SANTAKlaus, you fool! I'm stronger than you anyways."  
Fayt (takes it personally): "Oh, REALLY! WE WILL SEE! YOU WORM!"  
Albel (takes it also personally): "HEY! That one is MY swearword, got it?!"  
Klaus (a bit alarmed, to Albel): "Honey. That bloke there (points to Fayt) has offended me. My little sunshine, please, be so kind and bite his nose off."  
Albel (stares dumbly at Klaus): "..."  
Fayt (takes his chance): "What do they say in those wedding movies? Until death separates you!!!" (runs up, swings his sword)  
Klaus (a bit upset): "NO! PLEASE! I AM UNARMED! HERE! I'LL GIVE ALBEL TO YOU!!! BUT PLEASE DON'T DO ANYTHING TO ME!! I BEG YOU!!!"  
Albel (looks as if being hurt, but doesn't feel this way): "What? You traitor! Only to save your own pimply skin you're willing to sell me?! From now on our ways definitely part."  
Klaus (hopping happily): "Ciao, amore!" (flies away)  
Fayt (sheathing his sword): "And? How was I? Good or excellent?"  
Albel (quite satisfied): "Yeeeah, finally we've got rid of that maggot...I think that even you has potential when it comes to acting...do you want to join my famous troop of actors?"  
Fayt (a bit confused): "Which troop?"  
Albel (draws his katana): "THAT was the WRONG answer!!!" (Fayt takes flight ("Iiiek!"), closely followed by Albel ("DIE!") – courses are accompanying the lovely pair)  
Cliff (mourning): "...no Santa-Klaus?" #cries#

By: LeiserTod

What nonsense...

**Characters: Albel, Cliff, Mirage, Klaus**

„_Still, to name an organisation "Quark" ... Was that guy on drugs?XD" _

NOTE: In German "Quark" means "curd cheese"...it's a pun here...(so, if you should stumbling upon a German laughing his guts off while playing Star Ocean III...you now know, why...)

Mirage: "I wanna a pudding ..."  
Cliff: "That's out of the question. We're Quark, so there'll only be curd cheese."  
Mirage: "Why didn't you name us McDonalds or something like that?"  
Cliff: "Was already taken. And to risk that Fayt will launch his "I-am-a-sweet-and-well-behaved-citizen-and-I-respect-the-law-and-the-UP3-(even-if-I-killed-thousands-of-creatures)"- speech? Nah, Quark is just fine."  
Mirage: "Still, I'd really liked to have a pudding..."  
#Albel barges in#  
Albel: "I'll make smashing pudding out of you, Klausians!!"  
Mirage: "That's out, only Quark."  
Albel: "!?"   
Cliff: "You and your fucking pudding ..."  
Albel: "Hey? Are you listening to me?"  
Mirage (to Albel): "What did you say?"  
Cliff: "Guaranteed something with pudding again ..."  
#Klaus had finally cought up with Albel#  
Klaus: "Cliff, that bloke there first accepts my marriage proposal and afterwards he just runs away!" #points to Albel# #has tears in his eyes#  
Mirage: "Not nice."  
Cliff (to Albel): "And you have the guts to ask for a pudding? I'll give you a beating that even your mother won't recognize you afterwards!"  
#Albel now totally helpless#  
Albel: "Fayyyyyyyyyyt - ..."

_By: YamiHaruka_

More nonsense or: the perfect revenge

**Characters: Everyone … except wind, someone, Peter I und priest**

At Quark:  
#everyone (really everyone) is sitting at the table#  
Cliff: "Okay, folks, food's ready." #puts a huge bowl on the table#  
Nel: "What's that, Cliff?"  
Cliff: "That's –"  
Fayt: "Looks like a pudding."  
#an a little bit miffed Cliff#  
Cliff: "THIS IS NO FUCKING PUDDING! THIS IS CURD CHEESE!!!!"  
Mirage: "Still, it looks like a pudding..."  
Cliff: #a really deathly glare towards Mirage#: "This is my SSHD-special-curd cheese."  
Nel: "You've cooked...this?"  
#scepticism#  
Cliff: "Yeah, why?" #a bit dumb for a change#  
Fayt: "You know that curd cheese is normally white?"  
Cliff: "Yeeeees, this is a normal, home made curd cheese. But is a special one. A secret recipe of mine. And believe it or not, only by eating my SSHD-curd cheese, I did become what I am now."  
#more scepticism#  
Fayt: "Sorry, Cliff, I'm currently on a diet." #looks at Albel#  
Albel: "Don't miss that chance – maybe you'll finally grow a few inches afterwards, worm." #sports an evil grin#  
Fayt: "I... err...- "  
Albel: "Shut up, worm." #calls# „Klausi, darling, you wanna a pudding?"  
Cliff: "Curd cheese..."  
Albel: "However."  
#Klaus sneaks away as fast as possible#  
Alle: "Coward!"  
Nel: #wants to distract# "By the way, where's Grubb?"  
Cliff: "Ah, said that he didn't feel all too well."  
Fayt: "But then he NEEDS his pudding!"  
Cliff: "Curd cheese..."  
Fayt: "However..."  
Nel: "Oh, an excellent idea and in the meantime we can eat and you can spend some time alone with Crubb. "  
#Cliff hears only the word "alone"#  
Cliff: "Okay folks, I'm off." #takes a bit of the curd cheese and scams#  
Albel: "Errr, Klausi, darling, he's gone now."  
#Klaus reluctantly approaches the group#  
Klaus: "Phew, I already thought... Why are you looking at me?"  
Alle: "Hohoho." #takes the offending bowl#  
Klaus: "Oh-oh..."  
#everyone grabs Klaus... and yes, the outcome is quite obvious X3#

_By: YamiHaruka_

Tbc?

A/N: Uhm...okay. Forget about "better". And we still have some more...#watch sympathetically the readers cringing#

Well...if you ever have the wish to curse the whole thing, go ahead. We'll be happy to receive any critics. ;D


	3. Brainless

Authors: YamiHaruka & LeiserTod

Disclaimer: Nope. No use in going to court. You don't know our names anyways. Har har har. Still, nothing ours. (as you maybe have noticed...#sighs#)

Translator: LeiserTod

A/N: Uff. A new one. I finally managed the translation...oO; Gosh, this is really difficult! (and English is considered an easy language, pah!)

Well. Enjoy. #coughs#

And that's what happened with Grubb afterwards

**Characters: Cliff, Grubb**

Cliff: "Ooohh, my poor Grubbie-Dubbie-Wuddywoo...ooohh, come to me, I'll fu – err, CONSOLE you properly!"

Grubb (with unadulturated horror): "YIEP! NO! HELP! IS NO ONE THERE?! AAAAAH!!!"

Cliff (wants to appear cool): "Uh. Grubb? You okay?"

Grubb (just a little bit upset): "Do I look like I'm okay, you idiot?! Leave me alone!"

Cliff: "But Grubbie...I just wanted to...(bursts into tears) feed you!" (places the bowl with the pud- err, curd cheese in front of Grubb)

Grubb (shrieking) "NOOOO! Take this thing away from me! You can do whatever you want but take this away! (eyes the offending bowl as if it was in the verge of jumping him)

Cliff (whispers to himself): "Hehehe, that always does the trick..." (then loud) "Really EVERYTHING?" (sports a perverted grin)

_von: LeiserTod_

* * *

**Characters: Fayt, Albel**

Final Fantasy X-Trauma:

A crazy about Final Fantasy Fayt drowned while trying to play blitzball!

Albel: "Blubb."

_Von: LeiserTod_

* * *

A way of spending a romantic day with the beloved one...

**Characters: Fayt, Albel, Cliff**

Fayt (presses Albel to himself, pointing a gun at his skull at the same time): "Whoever so much as moves an inch towards Albel or makes another movement will fucking DIE!!!"

Albel (unnerved sigh): "How?! It's ME you're pressing that damned gun to, you fool!"

Fayt (a bit confused): "SHUT UP! Otherwise you'll be the first one to bite the dust!!!"

Albel (rightly sceptical): "...you don't dare..."

Cliff (tries to mediate): "Errr, Fayt...listen, slowly, verly slowly you put down your gun and then we all go eat a yummy pudding, how does that sound?"

Fayt (furious): SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! IT'S ME TO GIVE COMMANDS!!!! Besides, I'm fed up with your curd cheese!!! The mere thought of your slop makes me throw up!!!"

Cliff (sad beyond belief): "You...you don't like my pudding? You...you are SO MEAN! (runs away crying)

Albel (grins at Cliff's retreating form): "Ha ha ha...why are you always putting raisins in there..."

Fayt (reminds Albel of who's in charge here): "Hey! Silence!!!"

Albel (rolls his eyes): "What the heck is wrong with you?! We barely start to eat ice crème and you already have to prove all those wesps that YOU are the one who can...bite me! Asshole."

Fayt (shaking, takes away the weapon): "But...but...they were so obtrusive...(starts to cry)...I just wanted to protect you..."

Albel (voices an undeniable truth): "Fool."

_Von: LeiserTod_

* * *

03.08.2006

The Tamagotchi.O.O

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Thing**

#Albel runs around with a tamagotchi from Peppita#  
Albel: "What the fuck am I supposed to do with it!?"

Tamagotchi: "Peep."  
Albel: "!?"

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Albel: "..."

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Abel: #gets a little bit annoyed# "..."

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Albel: #now more annoyed after staring at the strange piece for a whole minute# "Fool."

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Albel: #slowly getting impatient# "Maggot."

#quarter of an hour passes with that game#

Albel: "I'm fed up with this, I'm gonna abandon that dumb piece."

#mercilessly chaining the innocent tamagotchi to the next tree#

Tamagotchi: "Piep."

#Albel runs away#  
#comes back again#

#to the tree#  
Albel: #teary-eyed# "I'm so sorry!! I didn't want...I..." #cries and howls#  
Tamagotchi: "Peep."

#tears are streaming down his face as he takes the poor tamagotchi off#   
#runs (no surpise there) – but now with the tamagotchi – to Peterny's inn#

Albel: "Fayt, Fayt!!!"

#a bit startled Fayt turns around#  
#sees Albel in tears in front of him#  
Fayt: #slightly shocked# "What's wrong, Albel?"  
Albel: #still in tears# "I've abandoned this little piece. Just so!!!"

Fayt: "Aha..."

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Albel: "I am a bad guy." #hungs his head#  
Fayt: "And you realize that only after abandoning a toy!?"

Albel: "Shup up, worm..." #but still crying# "What if it had died...all alone...chained to a tree..."

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

Fayt: "Aaaaaaha...Say, why that thing peep the whole time?"

Albel: #almost with his normal voice# "No idea..."

Fayt: "Let me take a look."

#Albel gives the tamagotchi to Fayt#

Fayt: "Uh...have you ever used that thing?"

Albel: "Why? What's wrong with it??" #slightly panicking#

#pat lightly Albel's shoulder#  
Fayt: "Sorry, but...the thing's dead."

Albel: "Noooooooooooooooo ..." #collapses# "I've murdered an innocent!!" #falls onto Fayt and cries his heart out#  
#Fayt presses a button since his nerves are in a serous danger#  
Fayt: "Oh, just look Albel. It's alive!"

Tamagotchi: "Peep."

#Albel leaps forward#  
Albel: "What?? Show me!!!"  
#Fayt complies#  
Albel: "I just knew it, fool! Ha!"

#and if the tamagotchi had not died again (or if no one pressed ‚reset') then Albel still lives with the little thing#  
Tamagotchi: "Peep."

_Von: YamiHaruka_

* * *

_LeiserTod: „YES! Long lives the brutal truth!!!...:"  
_

The brutal truth

**Characters: Albel, Fayt**

Fayt (totally on edge, doesn't know what to do with himself): "Albel...I..."  
Albel (irritated, looks up from his katana exercises): "WHAT IS IT?!"  
Fayt (nervous above average): "...I...have to..."  
Albel (rolls his eyes): "The loo's over there."  
Fayt (laughs unnaturally high): "NO! No, that's not what I meant...I...wanted..."  
Albel (unnerved above average): "THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT? I don't have much time, so hurry the fuck up, worm!"  
Fayt (nearly crying out of embarassment): "...Well, that is...there is something that I..."  
Albel (threatening): "Or do you want MONEY?! Forget it!"  
Fayt (really crying now): "No! I don't want any money! Well, okay...I have to say it! (gathers all of his courage) ALBEL, YOU HAVE GRAY HAIR!!!"  
Albel (very silent): ".."  
#BAMM#

We see a beautiful sunset. The reddish rays of dying light are gently stroking the trees of a deep forest in the centre of which a lonely hill is situated. On the of this hill a flagstone made of marble is placed.

An inscription is carved: "There are truths that better are kept for yourself. Fool. Signed: Albel."

_von: LeiserTod_

* * *

11.08.2006

The brutal truth 2

**Characters: Albel, Fayt, Cliff, Maria, Truth**

Gendou: "Fayt's dead."

Fuyutsuki: "Wait, I go fetch a new one."

Fayt: "Hey, the new player costumes are really cool."

Cliff: "Yeah, sure. It's not you who looks like a half roasted onion..."

Maria: #watches her mirror image with tears in her eyes# "And your hair wasn't cut and coloured, too... #looks down# ...and how am I supposed to fight in this skirt???"

Fayt: #shrugs# "But otherwise they're pretty!" #happily hopping away#

Fayt: "Albel!!" #cries from a great distance#

Albel: #unnerved# "What is it, fool?"  
Fayt: "How do you like the - #statement# ... You have gray hair!"

Again there is a beautiful sunset. The once lonely hill got a companion, on which another flagstone was placed. The inscription reads: "They're white. Fool. Signed: Albel."

Gendou: "Fayt's dead."

Fuyutsuki: "I'm already on my way...!"

_Von: YamiHaruka_

11.08.2006

The true purpose behind the founding of NERV Characters: Gendou, Fuyutsuki, Misato, Maya, Ritsuko, Fayt, Rei 

A normal workday in NERV (Greeton):

#Gendou und Fuyutsuki enter#

Gendou: "Ah?"

Fuyutsuki (translates): "How's production doing?"

Misato: #hastily# "We barely can keep it up!"

Gendou: "Ah."

#a Rei hopping happily past them#

Gendou: "Ah?"

Fuyutsuki: "Huh?"  
Ristuko: "We didn't know what to do with all those Reis, so we let them run free for a while."

Gendou: "Ah."

Voice: "Alarm, alarm: A new Fayt is needed."

Misato: "A new one is ready?"  
Maya: "Yes, we're going to send him out now!"

#a Rei again#

Misato: "Hm...there's no much time left, we're sending him via Eva."

Alle: "!"

Misato: "Or is there a better way to get him to Airyglyph?"

Gendou: "Ah."

Fuyutsuki: "Okay, get him going!"

Rei: #still hopping# "Huuuuiiiiiii …"

Maya: "Gotcha, starting in 3...2...1..."

#noise of an Eva dashing off#

#short time later#

Voice: "Alarm: A new Fayt and a new Sophia are requested."

Everyone (except Gendou): "Ooops..."

Gendou: "Ah."

Stimme: "Alert: Playstation 2 is being switched on. "

Gendou: "Ah."

Fuyutsuki: "Oh-oh...Take care of the production. Forget Sophia, just send a new Fayt, quickly!"

Maya: "Impossible. The new one is just at the beginning of his development."  
An unimportant member: "We'll never make it in time..."

Misato: "Don't worry, we still have one..."

Ritsuko: "Where?"

Misato: #thinks# "In my closet if I remember correctly."

Gendou: "Ah?"  
Fuyutsuki: "Does he function?"

Ristuko: "Doesn't matter, we need him! Come on, hurry up!"

#after a short search in the closet#

Misato: "There he is!" #content

Fayt: #panic# "Not again...No, I don't want to, Misato...I-"

Misato: "Shut up, you're needed!"

Fayt: "But..."

Gendou: "Ah."

Fuyutsuki: "No "buts", we're stuck without you. You have to fight!!"  
Ritsuko: "Don't worry, you'll be doing fine." #puts on a friendly gaze#

Gendou: "Ah."

Fuyutsuki: "Get him to Airyglyph via air dragon!"

Maya: "Why didn't we do just that the last time?"

#silence#

#all NERV-members are standing in front of a huge display#

Misato: "Yeah, you'll do it, Fayt!!"

Ristuko: "Only one punch!"  
Everyone (except Gendou): "Yeeahhh!...Ouch...Nooo..."  
Voice: "Alarm: A new Fayt is needed."

Misato: "Well, there was at least a slim chance that he'll manage..."

Ritsuki: "Maybe we should have taken care of his level?"

Rei: "Yeaaaaaaah …"

Misato: "Accidents always happen."

Gendou: "Ah?"  
Fuyutsuki: "Enough Fayts there?"  
Maya: "Yes, everything's under control. We always have one left now."

Gendou: "Ah."

Fuyutsuki: "Okay."

Rei: "Juhuuuu!"

Voice: "Fayt has reached level 40."

Everyone (except Gendou, no surprise there): "Oh, noo."  
Misato: #hectic# "Come on, adjust the production's settings! We have to raise his level!"

Maya: "And what should we do with all the others?"

Ritsuko: "We cou-..."

Misato: "Oh, I'll take care of them." #sports a greedy gaze#

Ritsuko: "Err...okay, that way we'll always one in store..."

Misato: "Go on then!"

Rei: "Laaalaaalaaa …"

Gendou: "Ah?"

Fuyutsuki: "Right, Sophia should also be produced sometime..."

Everyone (except Gendou and Fuyutsuki): "Nah."

And then everyone could enjouy their freetime, no work anymore...

Everyone: "We have night-shift!!!"

_Von: YamiHaruka_

* * *

A/N: I do not care about format. I refuse to care about it. I' m fed up with docs being loaded up in a really funny way that you don't know that to do about them. -.-;_  
_

Still, reviews would be really nice. (even if only complaining about the non-existent grammar...;D)


End file.
